


Scratch The Skin From Your Bones

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Fever, Folklore, Heats, Kili is a werewolf, M/M, Rough Sex, Sibling Incest, Sickness, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 02:39:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4546995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>There is a curse that runs through the line of Durin. Not many people believe in it; mostly these doubters are uncultured dwellers of Elves or Men, oblivious to the ways of Dwarves. But to the two heirs of the Mountain, the curse was very, very real.<i></i></i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <i>Some say it was a punishment from Mahal. Some say it was a destined curse. No matter what, Fili knows that he will always love his baby brother - even if full moons are spend miles apart.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Scratch The Skin From Your Bones

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry for my long absence! This is not an excuse, just an explanation - my computer broke and I panicked, thinking I had lost all my work. Thankfully, I hadn't, so I took this opportunity to show you all that I have been writing, and I'm fervently writing to make up for the time that I've missed! Thank you all for the support!
> 
> ALSO. I want to be the first AO3 - that I know of - to offer up snapchat for communicating! I like pictures, and I like to see yours as well! So snap me at Retrospeckt, and we'll get up to all sorts of fun!

There is a curse that runs through the line of Durin. Not many people believe in it; mostly these doubters are uncultured dwellers of Elves or Men, oblivious to the ways of Dwarves. But to the two heirs of the Mountain, the curse was very, very real.

It manifests in the youngest of the line. The eldest of them both, Fili, never received his fair share of this disease, for it does not begin to show until the Dwarf has reached his twenty-fifth year of life. Fili was only five when his baby brother, Kili, was born.

Fili didn't understand until a much later age as to why his brother was taken from him once a month for eight days in a row. He would watch, crestfallen, as Kili silently packed a few sets of clothing before giving his brow a small kiss and turning to leave with their uncle. Fili never knew where they went, but it broke his heart to see the forlorn and defeated expression Kili wore as he walked left their home with heavy steps.

At first, Fili was concerned for his sweet brother. Was he ill? He certainly never looked well as the time of his departure arrived. But as Fili grew a bit older, he realized with disgust that there was in fact a pattern to his absences. Fili grew bitter. He wondered constantly why Kili always got to skip lessons with their professor, when he himself had to stay and learn to read and write. He learned to think that perhaps their Uncle Thorin merely preferred Kili over he, and that Thorin wanted to take Kili out on fun adventures while leaving Fili at home.

It was only when Fili reached his teenage years of forty-eight did his mother sit him down one late afternoon at the kitchen table and explain everything there was to know about Kili and his odd disappearances. Fili listened to every word with a wide, bulging eyes, a pale face, a dry mouth, and his heart pounding so hard he thought it may burst.

'Ma, that's not funny!' he had tried protesting as hot tears welled in his eyes. 'Werewolves don't exist anymore, they've all been slayed!'

'What I am speaking of is not a joke,' Their mother had answered quietly as she took his hand in hers, but Fili had pulled away, standing to his feet as those traitorous tears overflowed onto his cheeks. Dis had sighed heavily, 'Kili needs you now, Fili, more now then every before. He is growing stronger and we need to protect him and those around him.'

'Why didn't you tell me before?' Fili had demanded with a quivering voice. 'Why wait 'til now?'

'We didn't want to frighten you away from your own kin,' Dis had responded truthfully, and Fili could see it. 'You both were only children. Kili was so scared during the first transformation, and we wanted to keep it a secret from you until he learned to control it.' her voice grew solemn, 'but he hasn't controlled it, and we are growing worried. Fili... we need you. Your brother needs you.'

Those words struck and kindled a flame somewhere inside Fili. He nodded slowly, forgetting his own tears and fears and knowing that he would do all it took to save his baby brother from himself.

'Your uncle Frerin had this same predicament,' Thorin had explained gravely to Fili later that darkening evening, both sitting on the porch with a bundle of dry of tobacco to share. Fili had only just recently been taught the art of smoking, and had been quietly practicing holding the hot smoke in his mouth and expelling it slowly as Thorin went on, 'The curse runs only through the males. This is why Dis was free.'

His words had confused and distracted Fili, and he coughed harshly as he accidentally swallowed a bout of the smoke. He groaned and rubbed at his throat, and then had asked 'Where does the curse come from, uncle?'

'No one knows.' He had sighed in response, shaking his head. 'Some think it was an evil gift from the gods, to doom us and our greed.'

'But it's not,' Fili had said stubbornly, 'Right, uncle?'

Thorin gave him only one somber look before rising and retiring to bed.

As the years went by, Fili and Kili grew closer and closer as brothers, and as time ticked on, as something a little more. One night, tucked away in their corner of the house in the middle of the night, soft confessions were exchanged, tender and new touches given and received and the two brothers, early in their adulthood life, sealed a bond that would hold them together forever.

Fili never learned much of Kili's monthly disappearances, only that it had to be somewhere fairly isolated for the transformation, and that when he returned, he was weary and exhausted. Each day he came home, Fili would hold him in his arms and Kili, who, with little energy left in his abused body, would fall into a deep sleep for nearly twelve hours.

It took always Kili two or three days to recover from the beast within him. During that time, Fili was constantly sure to keep him comfortable and warm in their bed, always offering him hot food or drink. But before too long, Kili was up on his two feet again with his beloved oak bow in his hand with a great grin on his face that all-too-often made Fili forget the horrors he was forced to live each month of the year.

Some of the younger and more wrenched lasses often scoff and turn up their noses, stating that what Kili went through every month was not much different than what they do. Perhaps they're right.

After all, there was usually a lot of blood.

“Oh, fuck, oh gods, I'm so fuckin' sorry,” Kili panicked, hands searching over Fili's bare chest as crimson liquid smeared over his bronzed skin in search of further injury. “Fuck, I didn't mean to!”

Fili grimaced and shook his head. “It's fine, love, don't worry. It doesn't hurt.”

“How does _that_ not hurt? You- you need stitches!”

 _'That'_ referred to the four deep gash that Kili had accidentally clawed into Fili in the middle of the night upon his upper chest. It was a wide and bright wound, gushing blood and refusing to stop. Fili reached for an old, roughspun tunic on the floor and quickly pressed it against the injury to cease the bleeding. He couldn't help but cringe. It _did_ hurt, but this was far from the worst Kili had ever done to him.

Kili's bloodstained hands were trembling, his fingernails crusting with dried blood. “W-what should I do?” He blurted out. “S-should I go get mama? O-or Oin?”

“N-no, sweet one, it's fine.” Fili breathed, his head going a bit fuzzy. “How about- why don't you get some bandages, can you do that for me?”

Kili nodded fervently, stumbling to his feet and hurrying out of the room without further delay. Fili groaned softly as he withdrew the thin fabric from his chest. The fourth gash, a thinner on that was most likely done by Kili's littlest finger, had stopped bleeding, but the others had not.

Fili now knew that it was Kili's week.

It usually began with something like this; small changes in the middle of the night or in his sleep that he was unaware of, perhaps odd food cravings or aggressive behaviors – but this was the first time in years that Kili had actually done harm to Fili.

Kili hurried back to the bedroom with a damp cloth and the bandages, and hastily set to first cleansing the wound. He worked quickly with precise movements, far too used to this sort of care. Fili fumbled to the nightstand for the small waterskin kept there, taking a swig to ease his dry mouth.

“I'm gonna leave today, okay?” Kili stammered as he wound fresh cloth bandages around Fili's chest. “T-this is gettin' outta hand, I'll pack up and I can eat on the road until-”

“Kili, no.” Fili cut in, shaking his head. “Don't worry about me.”

“But-”

“It's been a long time since something like this happened,” Fili stated firmly. “I don't want you going anywhere that I'm not.”

Nearly blind with his tears, Kili could only nod helplessly as he completed the final twist and knot of Fili's fresh binding. He slumped forward and leaned his forehead against his shoulder, shutting his eyes tightly. Fili wrapped his arms around him in a tender embrace, feeling the young one beneath him shuddering.

“I wonder if it was triggered by a nightmare,” Fili hummed thoughtfully, “Did you have a bad dream last night...?”

Kili shook his head and looked up. “No. F-Fi, what should I do?”

“You mean besides taking a break from being the big spoon?”

Kili punched his stomach halfheartedly. “You know what I meant.”

Fili grinned sheepishly. “Sorry. Ah, for the time being, I think we should at least tell Thorin what happened here- no no, don't worry, I won't let him take you away.” He assured him when Kili's eyes went wide. “It's just so he can help you keep yourself in check.”

Kili found himself nodding forlornly, but his eyes gave away that he understood his brother's words. Fili said nothing more after that, moving a bit stiffly as he got dressed for the day. If Kili was growing even more dangerous, their uncle certainly did have to know.

 

“Oh- fuck-!” Kili gasped, his back arching hard into a nearly painful angle. “Just like – _ah!_ – just like that!”

“You sure?” Fili whispered raggedly into his ear, his large hands gripping tightly at his hips as he pounded into him with hard, jutting thrusts. “You don't usually like it this rough.”

“Gods, _no_ , I fuckin' _love it..._ ” Kili choked on air, struggling for breath. “ _Hah..._ ngh... _brother...”_

Fili groaned lowly, feeling the raw slick of sweaty skin against his own as he pressed his chest against Kili's back, covering his smaller body with his own as he latched his left arm down and around his brother's left shoulder. He pressed hot and heavy kisses against his sharp shoulder blades, eyes half-lidded as he struggled to keep the steady rhythm Kili so craved.

“Fuck,” Kili moaned, his elbows nearly giving out. “H-harder, Fi, _c'mon_.”

“I'm doing the best I can, brat.” Fili hissed teasingly, before blemishing the tanned skin of Kili's back with a pale royal purple bruise. Kili seethed in frustration, pounding one fist against the mattress of their bed. “Fuckin' _hell_ – don't use your mouth, just fuck me!”

Fili's motions stuttered a bit in his shock, eyes fluttering wide. What the-? Kili never wanted a fuck – he always desired something more passionate; lovemaking or bedding. Never just sex, or... _fucking._ Fili hesitated, abruptly unsure how to perform. This wasn't like anything Kili had ever wanted before, and he suddenly found himself lapsed with utter confusion.

It was odd enough that Kili had so firmly suggested coupling with him on his hands and knees, a position they had never before done, but _now?_ Fili didn't know what to do. He felt like a hopeless virgin all over again, and it wasn't a good feeling.

Kili's head whirled in anger, eyes nearly flashing. “Don't just stop – _fuck_ me!”

'But why?' was what Fili wanted to ask. He opened his mouth but stopped himself. If it was what Kili needed, he was more than ready to help and supply all he could. So with a bracing breath, he pulled out his swollen, leaking cock from Kili's body and mercilessly slammed himself straight back in. Kili screamed aloud, his body lurching forward at the power of the fuck. Fingernails scrabbling at the bedsheets, he gasped for breath and his arms quavered beneath his weight.

Hearing no further complaint, Fili smirked and did it again – only this time, the blunt head of his thickening cock pounded straight into the hard bump of his prostate and his cavern twitched and curled tight and hot around his dick. Kili cried out, saliva dripping from the corner of his mouth as he was laid wide open for Fili's use.

“ _Fuck,_ ” he screamed, “ _again!_ ”

Fili grit his teeth together hard and jammed his hips so roughly against Kili's rump that the entire bed frame rocked, bumping loudly against the wall and sending the harsh noise echoing through the house. His eyes rolled back briefly as he savored that heated clench, that burn and slick slide as his cockhead drove into his channel.

Kili wrenched free a twisted shout, strangled from a tight throat. He sobbed dryly and pleaded – no, _begged_ – for Fili to fuck him harder, faster. Fili grunted and held onto those curved hips, holding on for leverage to shove himself in deeper inside of him.

“Let me cum, let me cum,” Kili was wailing, his entire body trembling with shudders of oversensitive ecstasy and need. “Please, Fili...! A-a little more...!”

 _He wants it rough, does he?_ Fili's lips quirked into a bigger, crueler smirk. “No, my little Kili,” He purred, leaning forward to drape himself over Kili. He grasped Kili's red, bobbing member in his hand tightly, starving off his approaching orgasm. “You haven't been good.”

Kili yelled like a child in a tantrum, “That's not fair!”

“What makes you think you deserve it?” Fili rasped into his ear, grinding his hips in harsh circles against those perfectly smooth swells of Kili's arse. “You tell me, baby.”

“Oh, gods, please,” Kili sobbed. “I can't- I can't _think_ \- Fili, brother, let me finish!”

The begging was all quite very pretty, Fili decided ultimately, and it as fascinating as this was, he truly didn't want to cause any pain to his brother. So with a quick pump of his hand to Kili's cock and a sudden fuck of his hips, Kili's head tossed back, ink-black hair cascading down his long back as he cried out loudly. The sound rang in Fili's ears and traveled straight to his groins, and he licked his dry lips as he watched Kili twitch and shudder beneath him.

“N-ngh...” Kili's body slumped against the mattress, any hope of using his arms or hands to support himself diminished entirely. He panted heavily through kiss-bruised and swollen lips, half-mast eyes hazy and glazed over.

Fili stroked his flank lovingly, whispering soft praises to his lover as he rocked gently inside of him. His body was looser, muscles no longer taut and tight with lust. However, it did not take him long to reach his climax, the low buzz sounding in his ears as the pressure built, the heat that bubbled within him that made him gasp quietly as it melted from his belly, ticking the insides of his regions before spurting inside of Kili.

Kili groaned and lolled his head to one side, cheeks flushed pale and droplets of sweat clinging to his flesh. His hair was damp as Fili petted it endearingly, very slowly pulling out. Kili gave a muffled whimper as the thick ridge of his cock slid from his abused hole, and his exhausted, worn body lay stretched out against the bed.

“Oh gods,” Kili moaned as Fili dragged a blanket over his own body before settling comfortably atop Kili's. “That was so damn good.”

“I never would have imagined you being into that sort of stuff,” Fili murmured curiously, covering ever bare and naked inch of Kili's clammy skin with his own. He left a kiss to the back of his shoulder before snuggling his head against his back. “Very adventurous of you.”

“Hardly. I've been wantin' to do that all week.”

“Should have known,” Fili said too quietly for Kili to hear. It was his beastly instincts. It made sense now, why he had shown no interest in Fili's tender touches or kisses, only the need to satisfy the internet thirst his body so badly needed.

But that was okay, Fili decided then. Whatever Kili wanted, he would give. No matter what.

“Hey... next time, will you tie me up?”  


 

More moons passed, and Fili found himself a rather inciting hobby – the study of werewolves. Of course, the interest scarcely skipped over any member of the Durin line, but Fili seemed to be a special case.

When Kili wasn't around – his 'time of month', his mother dryly called it – he could often be found pouring over ancient tomes that were nearly thrice the age he was. When cuddling up with Kili wasn't an option, he found that the most comfortable place to be was curled up in a big chair with a wool blanket tossed over his shoulders, a great big book in one hand and a mug of camomile tea in the other.

Kili kept his lips sealed whenever Fili pressed him about the transformations. Even in their most vulnerable moments, curled up naked in bed feeling entirely satisfied and loved, even with the gentlest and kindest words Fili could speak, Kili never spoke of his monthly experiences. Fili wasn't sure why he kept it such a secret. Was it truly so horrible that Kili didn't want him to burden him with what he was cursed with? The stories in the books certainly made it seem so.

One story in particular spoke of the youngest heir of Durin many, many years ago actually drove himself mad with the curse. He'd lost his mind, speaking in odd tongues no one could understand, tearing out his own beard, and wandering the mountainside of Erebor until he would collapse with his exhaustion. One day, it must have become too much, for the poor soul drowned himself at the mere age of ninety-six.

Another one tale spoke of another Durin heir who was not bestowed with his werewolf abilities until he was almost one hundred. Until then, his family had thanked the gods, believing that they had finally been saved. _Must have just been a late bloomer,_ Fili thought with a sad sigh.

Fili briefly found interest in documentaries on a certain breed called skin-changers, but quickly realized with disappointment that they and werewolves were entirely different. Skin-changers required no full moon, nor did they always transform into wolves.

Fili began to ask his teachers for other books, ones that perhaps spoke of family-carried curses or blessings alike through other such as Elves or Men, but that made his professors shift uneasily. It was then that Fili realized that Dwarves, in fact, cared quite little of the history and cultures of other species.

“Am I weird?” Fili thought aloud one late evening as he sat at Thorin's armchair with Kili curled at his lap like a cub, a mug of ale in his hand as he stared into the crackling flames in its hearth.

“Mmn?” Kili murmured sleepily. “Wha' makes you say that?”

“Well, it's just-” Fili hesitated, uncertain as to how to word his statement. “I find myself... compelled towards the traditions of others besides our kin. Is that odd?”

“I'unno.” Kili mumbled, words thick and heavy with sleep. “I'on't think so.”

“I went to the library earlier this morning and looked around for something – anything, really – that I could find about, say, the fairy tales of Men, but I found nothing. Isn't that interesting? We so proudly show off our own ways and rituals to others, but we don't care about those of others.” Fili sighed. “It's rather... disappointing.”

“Mm.”

“Perhaps that's how it works everywhere, no matter who you are.” Fili wondered. “I wonder if Elves believe in the gold-sickness, or if Men believe in skin-changers, or-”

“Skin- wha...?”

“I'll tell you about it later.” Fili stroked his hair comfortingly. “Sorry. You should get some sleep. You look pretty worn out.”

“First day back's always the worst,” Kili admitted tiredly, winding his arms around Fili's waist in gratitude of his lulling touches. “Feel like I could sleep for days.”

“Then sleep, love.” Fili said softly, short-cut fingernails massaging deep into his scalp. A small sound emitted from Kili's throat, deep and rumbling and vibrating, and if Fili didn't know better, he may have called it purring.

 

“Fi, I'm serious.”

“As am I.”

“No, you don't understand.” Kili's voice broke in his desperation, eyes wide in terror. “I don't want you to see.”

“But why not?” Fili pleaded, squeezing his hands comfortingly. “We've been through this already, have we not? You said that you would let me see some day!”

“ _Some_ day, not necessarily this one!”

“B-but I miss you! Every time you leave, my mind turns to horrible thoughts. I can't sleep when you're gone, Kili. I can't help but think that something awful may happen and I won't be there to stop it. I...” His voice wavered and he buried his head against Kili's chest. “I-I would die if anything happened to you.”

“Nothing ever happens, you know that.” Kili spoke softly, his slender fingers carding slowly through Fili's braided locks. “Don't you trust Thorin to protect me?”

Fili flinched and held Kili closer. “The bed's too cold without you.... it's too big.”

Kili gave a small, sad smile. “Then find someone to keep it warm while I'm away.”

“Never.” Fili looked up, eyes glistening with hot tears. “Don't be a fool.”

Kili's smile turned forced, a hard curve of his lips becoming weak.

“Please?” Fili dared to whisper. “You're my brother, and I love you. I need to see it. Please...”

“I can't.” Kili mumbled huskily, pain flooding his words. “Honey, I... damn it... I-I don't want you to see me.”

“But why not?” Fili felt his heart nearly break into two. He tried not to let it show, but he couldn't help it. “I don't understand, I... we've been lovers for years, and brothers for even longer. Why can't I see who you really are?”

“I'm sorry.” He slowly pulled away from Fili, his brother's heart sinking. “I'm so sorry...” Kili murmured, kissing his brow tenderly. “You deserve so much better.”

Fili opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He could only watch forlornly as Kili took the knapsack that rested beside the doorway into his hand, and left the room. Fili closed his eyes slowly, feeling his heart ache at the sound of the front door closing and locking shut.

 

 

“Ma, when's Kili coming home?”

Dis sighed in frustration, pressing her palms against her forehead. It was the seventh time in three days Fili had asked the burning question, but he couldn't stop himself.

“Fili, you have to be patient.” Dis rubbed her temples slowly. “The norm is eight days, but you know it could take longer.”

Fili did know this. Once, Kili was so terribly weak from a brutal transformation that he stayed hidden for an extra six days.

“I wish Thorin had gone with him.” Fili mumbled, defeated. “I don't like Kili being out there all on his own.”

Dis patted the back of his hand. “It's good for Kili to become used to handing these changes on his own. Your uncle won't always be there for him.”

“But I will,” Fili countered. “I should have gone.”

But his mother frowned. “No. You have duties at home. It's bad enough that Kili is missing his lessons, we can't have you skipping them as well-”

“It's not his fault.”

Dis bristled, eyes narrowing. “Don't you dare interrupt me.”

Fili swallowed and bowed his head. “I-I'm sorry.”

“If you want to put your absurd blame on somebody, blame Aule.” Dis continued, rising to her feet. “Besides, you and Kili spend far too much time together as it is. You will do well not to trail behind him like a lost mutt the way you always do. Kili has his own life; let him live it.”

Fili's eyes prickled with tears, and he was forced to nod in given agreement. He didn't mean to follow Kili, he was just so worried about him. He was small and thin for his age, and sometimes went days without eating a thing. He had begun to recently develop nervous habits, such as biting his nails and tugging frantically at the loose threads of his clothing. Fili knew that his sleeping patterns were often disturbed, and he couldn't help but think he was riddled with insomnia.

He wondered if Dis knew of these things.

Fili was distracted from his thoughts when a large hand clapped down upon his shoulder and he jumped in surprise. He looked up to see Thorin standing above him, gazing down.

“H-hello, uncle.” Fili stammered briefly.

“I need your help in the forge tonight.” He rumbled. “Cancel your plans, we've just received a large order of silverware and needles.”

“Actually, uncle, I... I-I was wondering if perhaps I may be able to stay here tonight.” Fili swallowed. “My head's been aching all day, and I've been feeling so tired-”

“You sound just like a lass.” Thorin glared. “That wasn't a suggestion, it was an order, do you understand?”

Fili's throat tightened and his chest ached, and all he could manage was a whispered, “Yes, sir.”

Thorin nodded his head, content with his answer, before turning and leaving the kitchen. Dis did not show and acknowledgment of the brusque conversation, instead began to coat a few slices of toast with thick raspberry curd. Fili sat in his silence, the pound of his temples increasing threefold. He felt sick.

He suddenly missed Kili, more now then ever before in his life. It made his heart sting and quiver in his chest. He turned slowly to the window, feeling his belly twist at the sight of the orange sun slowly sinking beneath the mountains, and he miserably understood that he would be needed in the smithy in an hour. He stood and took his thick leather cloak that hung from a peg on the wall beside the front door, and wordlessly slipped outside.

The air was brisk and biting, and Fili shivered as he drew his overcoat a little closer to his chilled skin. He set a course just off from a well-worn path, walking down into the familiar thicket he used to play in as a child. He brushed past tall, dark trees, feeling the soft whip of dead branches streak across his cheeks as he hurried down into the the forest's depth. His stride broke into a jog, the soles of his boots slipping into the soft earth below.

As he ran, he began to pant, his breath fogging in front of his face in the cold air. The leaves around him grew crisper, the bark of their trees growing stiffer as he ran and ran. He set no destination, only _forward_ , and before he knew it, he was sprinting into the unknown, sprinting with as much speed as he could. He had to get away.

He relished the feeling of the burn in his lungs, the painful stretch of already-sore muscles of his calves and thighs, the gentle throbbing in the front of his head. It all felt... good. He loved it.

He lost himself in his thoughts. There was no heavy iron sword in his grip, no boiled leather armor strapped to his body. There was no opponent standing across a ring, staring him hard in the eyes and waiting for him to make the first move. There was no smithy hammer in his hand, no constant heat pulsating from the forge and matting his hair. Everything felt fresh. Alive. _Good._

He stopped only when he realized that he was running in complete darkness. Eyes bolting wide, he stumbled a step back, his eyes tingling as they struggled to focus in the pitch black. Feeling his heart pounding loudly in his chest, he whipped his head around, but it dawned upon him that he had no idea where he was. He had ran straight into his own doom.

Swallowing his fear, he paced back in the direction he thought he may have come, but found nothing of familiarity.

He was lost.

Fili, a prince of Erebor and his uncle's rightful heir... was lost.

The cold was setting in. He could feel it tearing into his clothes, gnawing his stiff hands and numb fingers. He stumbled in the darkness, footsteps unsteady and unbalanced. If he went too far north, he would be stuck in this forest and it could take him days to find shelter. If he went too far west or south, he would find the sea. His only hopes were to head eastward.

Fili looked up helplessly into the night sky, straining his vision for anything. Kili spoke often of a star called the North Star. According to the stories he adored, it was the very same star that sailors and travelers alike would use to keep them on course. But Fili's heart sunk as he gazed upon the hundreds of twinkling lights above him. Which was the North Star? It could have been any of them.

He struggled to search for one perhaps that was the largest, or the brightest, but it was too hard. Everything looked exactly the same. Only Kili would know which was the star he needed.

Kili...

Fili dropped to his knees, curling his arms around his body. He missed him so terribly. He never should have let him leave all on his own. Thorin didn't understand Kili, not the way Fili did. Even if he was scared to be on his own for eight days, Kili would never confess it to Thorin.

Fili forced himself to rise on his feet. He had to get home. He must. He would not allow himself to be forever lost in this dreaded place. Kili needed him.

Fili walked for what felt like hours. The sun was gone entirely, a shroud of stars and a bright full moon were all that lit Fili's aimless path. His lips tinged blue, his eyes slipping half-lidded as his body begged for a rest. Exhaustion seeped into his mind like a fog.

Suddenly, Fili stopped in his tracks. He heard the soft sound of crunching dead leaves underfoot, and he felt his heart nearly stop.

He had always heard rumors of bears in the woods, but he never truly believed them. His mind whirled and he stumbled, forcing his legs to move faster. He grasped at his cloak and tugged it tighter, and he clutched his frozen hands together as he pushed himself into a run.

The noise abruptly grew louder and louder, and Fili realized right then that whatever was chasing him was catching up – and fast. He whispered frantically to his god, whispering every and any prayer that came into his head.

Fili glimpsed shakily over his shoulder, and suddenly, his eyes widened in his shock. It wasn't a bear. It was a wolf.

“Oh gods,” Fili breathed, slowly taking a step forward. The creature's ear twitched briefly, its bright eyes alert and watching every movement that he made. Fili clasped his hands over his mouth, tears welling in his eyes. “O-oh...”

It was Kili. Fili could recognize those obsidian eyes anywhere. They gleamed in the moonlight, shining as bright as a pup's. He was small, even for a wolf. His fur was the color of molten midnight, the sleek strands gleaming like stars in the sky. A soft whimper emitted from Kili and he wobbled on his feet before taking a tiny step back. Fili gasped when he saw that his back left paw was hovering an inch from the ground; a clear sign of an injury.

“Oh, Kili.” Fili whispered, slowly falling to his knees. “M-my Kili... my baby...”

The wolf didn't move, but Fili could have sworn he saw a flicker of recognition in those enticing eyes. Kili pressed his wounded paw gingerly to the ground and he whimpered again.

“Kili,” Fili said softly, slowly lifting his arms. “Beloved... my love... it's me. Please, won't you come to me...?”

Something in Kili's eyes softened, and he wobbled on three legs before padding silently closer and closer to his brother. Fili gave a weak laugh as he wound his arms around Kili's body, his fingers burying into fur as soft as velvet. He muffled a sob of relief, pressing his face into his neck and shuddering. Kili felt so warm against his skin, and he whined quietly as he settled to lay down beside Fili.

“What happened to you, sweet one?” Fili murmured, running his hand gently down the small wolf's flank until he reached his left leg. Kili's leg twitched but made no movement to retreat. He felt no blood and found no obvious sign of a broken bone, and Fili sighed quietly in relief. He then kissed his tiny ear, and Kili pressed his muzzle into the crook of Fili's neck.

Fili couldn't help himself. He hugged Kili tightly, not letting go. Tears trickled down his cheeks and dribbled onto Kili's black fur, but never before had he ever felt more happiness in his life.

“You are so _beautiful_ ,” Fili choked out, stroking the fur above Kili's eyes endearingly. “L-look at you... you're gorgeous...”

Kili's pink tongue darted to lick tentatively at Fili's cheek, and he laughed aloud in joy and nuzzled close. Fili knew not if Kili understood his words, but their meaning was clear. Kili curled beside Fili, and the two brothers, now safe and warm at last in one another's embrace, fell into a deep slumber.

 

 

Fili's eyes fluttered open, and he groggily rubbed away stray snowflakes caught between his lashes. His other hand groped blindly at something incredibly soft, and he realized it was Kili's hair. Suddenly, memories of the previous evening flooded back to him and, startled, he looked to see Kili, naked and curled in a tight ball, fast asleep and snuggled up right beside him.

Fili's gaze softened and he gathered his brother into his arms tightly. Holding him close with one arm, he slid off his cloak with his other and wrapped it around his lithe body. He kissed his cheeks and began to rub his arms, his skin too pale to be healthy. A fine snow had begun to fall, coating all around them in a fine sheen of white.

Fili could feel Kili shivering in his arms, and he rocked him gently to soothe him. Kili's big eyes opened moments later, unfocused and cloudy. He looked up at Fili slowly, his bottom lip quivering as he whimpered out in a hoarse voice, “F-Fi...”

Fili gave a small grin, feeling the harsh burn of his cracked lips. “Wouldn't want you to catch cold.”

Kili opened his mouth to speak, but his eyes filled to the brim with tears and he gave a soft sob as he pressed himself closer to Fili. He could feel tears against his neck as Kili began to cry, his small hands clinging to Fili's clothes like a lifeline.

“I'm so sorry,” Kili wept. “I-I didn't mean for you to see- I didn't know! I-I tried to stay away b-but I caught your scent and I couldn't help it!”

“No, my little one.” Fili whispered, “I'm so happy I found you... I was lost, Kili, and I was missing you so terribly. Finding you was a blessing.”

“Please don't hate me,” Kili broke down sobbing, covering his face with his hand. “I-I couldn't stand it! I-I won't let you ever see me like that again, I swear it on my life!”

His words stunned Fili. “Kili, no! I'm not angry with you, nor am I frightened. It felt so good to finally see you, see you as you really are. I loved it, Kili, I swear. I'm so happy.” He kissed his hair comfortingly, feeling the tiny shards of ice and snow mangled in his locks. “Darling... you're shivering so much. Let's get you home, alright? How does that sound?”

Kili whimpered and tightened his grasp on Fili. “I-I want mama.”

“We'll see her,” Fili promised, gingerly adjusting Kili in his arms so that his legs wound loosely around his hips and his slender arms draped over his shoulders. “There we are- let's go find mama, okay?”

Kili coughed, his body tensing and going rigid. A spike of fear shot through Fili's heart. He needed to get Kili warm as soon as possible.

With the help of Kili, Fili found a path that was half-hidden by brush and lush ferns. He walked as briskly as he could without disturbing Kili, whose frail body dissolved into coughing fits every so often. Each one grew more harsh, and his skin felt cold as ice. He trembled and shivered, barely mustering the strength to hold onto Fili.

“Fili, it hurts.” Kili whispered.

“What hurts, angel?” Fili asked gently, one hand supporting the back of his head.

“My foot...” He moaned and pressed his head against Fili's neck.

Memories of Kili limping on three legs flashed in Fili's mind, and his eyes widened slightly. “What happened?”

“I don't remember,” He sniffled, “Make it stop...”

“We'll get you to Oin, first thing.” Fili promised.

“Want mama.” Kili said softly.

“Of course, sweet lamb. We'll go to her.”

Kili fell quiet afterwards, reduced to nothing more than shivers and muffled whimpers. His face was flushed pale as ivory, lips a purple hue and evident clearly with sickness. It dawned upon him with dread that his baby brother was on the edge of unconsciousness, he left all doubt behind and began to run. Kili cried out softly in pain as his ankle collided hard against his side, but Fili couldn't risk losing anymore time.

Fili nearly melted in his relief when he saw both his mother and uncle standing outside of his house. He recognized the figure of Thorin's long-time friend and companion Gloin hovering beside them, a look of concern on his gruff face.

“Oh, my boys!” Dis gasped when Fili approached the group, panting hard and nearly out of breath.

“Mum,” He choked out. “Kili's not well, a-and he feels so cold, we need a healer-!”

“Where were you both?” Thorin demanded of him, eyes hard in anger. “We nearly send out a search party!”

Fili stood, numb in his fury, as Gloin gently lifted Kili's limp body. He pressed one large hand against Kili's brow, and he looked to Thorin gravely. “The lad's right, he's ill. We must get him to my brother.

“I'll go with you.” Dis volunteered hurriedly, briskly stepping forward. Only Thorin did not move, glaring into Fili's eyes. Fili trembled where he stood, feeling his knees weaken. “U-uncle, I'm so sorry-”

“ _Sorry?_ ” Thorin spat and Fili flinched and took a small step back. Thorin stalked closer, his great hand gripping onto the collar of his tunic, his knuckled white with his clutch. “You do not _deserve_ to be _sorry._ You terrified your mother and raised havoc through the house. Do you have any damn _idea_ what must have been going through her head when you disappeared like that?”

Fili didn't mean to start crying, he truly didn't. But the tears were leaking from his eyes and he gave a startled cry when Thorin shook him like a limp rag doll.

“You ran away from your problems and got Kili injured in the process. Are you proud of yourself now, _nephew?_ ”

“Wasn't- wasn't my fault,” Fili choked out, scrabbling uselessly to loosen Thorin's tight clench on his shirt. “Found him hurt, uncle, I _swear_ it-”

“Did you see him last night?” Thorin demanded of him. “ _Did you?_ ”

Fili muffled a sob, tears soaking his cheeks. His hands ached and his chest throbbed, and every breath of soft wind was torturous to his bare flesh.

“No,” Fili whispered raggedly, the lie bitter in his mouth. “I-I didn't see him... I-I only found him t-this morning.”

He was shivering so terribly. He wished desperately that he could rub his hands together, to spare even just the tiniest bit of heat, but they were too frozen to move.

Thorin slowly released him. “Good,” He muttered. “Very well then, Fili, I take your word as oath.”

Fili barely dared to whisper fearfully, “M-may I please see Kili? I-I need to make sure he's alright.”

“We will both go.” Thorin responded stiffly, and Fili could only nod mutely and follow behind Thorin to the house of the healer. His heart was pounding so heard it hurt. Everything hurt. He had been in such high spirits... and now Kili was ill and his uncle was furious and their mother was worried frantic.

The house of Gloin and his brother, Oin, was warm and dry, much to Fili's relief. He hastily kicked off his boots, wet with snow, and hurried to the spare bedroom where he knew Oin kept his patients. He felt his heart sink in his chest as he took in the sight of Oin and Dis standing beside the bed in which Kili lay, his head to one side. His small body was bundled tightly in a heavy wool blanket, small cloths soaked in hot water and oil wrapped around his thin wrists.

Fili moved close quietly, eyes taking in each and every detail from his Kili; from his white skin to his blue lips, to his closed black lashes to the shallow rise and fall of his chest.

“We're doing all that we can do to aid the healing process,” Oin was rumbling. “But it's up to his body right now. His fever ain't too bad as long as we keep it moderated, but yer gonna have to keep an eye on that ankle.”

“Is it broken?” Thorin spoke before Fili found his words.

Oin grimaced. “Can't be sure yet.”

Fili sat down beside Kili, gingerly carding through his tangled hair. A soft sound emitted from his throat, and his eyes slowly opened. With great effort he blinked away his grogginess, and his lips curled into a weak smile. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” Fili whispered, stroking his heated brow. “How are you feeling?”

“Not... terrible.”

“You're such a horrible liar.

Kili coughed, a hoarse and weak sound that required more energy than his body could spare. He moaned and curled, winding his arms around himself.

From the corner of his eye, Fili watched as Oin spoke quietly to Thorin and Dis, too quietly for him to her, but his words caused a small spark of irritation in Thorin's eyes. But he gave in, and taking Dis' arms, the three of them left the room. The door clicked shut.

“Kili...” Was all Fili could murmur, his mind hopelessly overwhelmed.

“I'm okay, brother.” Kili reached for his hand, a tiny smile on his lips. He pressed his cheek against the palm, and went on softly, “You feel so cold.”

“So do you.” Fili lay a tender kiss on his nose. “They bound your ankle, did they not...?”

“Aye, nice and tight. It...” he hesitated, “Still hurts though...”

“I'll go ask Oin for a tonic,” Fili told him, but before he could rise to his feet, Kili tugged him down closer and shook his head. “It's fine, Fi.”

“But you need your rest,” Fili frowned worriedly. “And if in you're in too much pain to sleep, you-”

“I want you to stay.” Kili's eyes slid closed. “Won't you please?”

Kili sounded so exhausted, so utterly drained of every drop of energy left he had. Fili silently slid beneath the bed covers and wrapped his arms around Kili tightly. Kili leaned his head upon his chest and sighed deeply. He ran his finger along the collar of Fili's tunic, mumbling, “You're so good to me, brother.”

“You know I would do anything for you,” Fili whispered into his hair. “My beautiful, beautiful _kha-l._ ”


End file.
